Call of the Blue Wren

Rating: TFPC
Been tagged by Blue Wren. Also by Swandive, but I just got to this one first. Frankly, it was easier. So here goes.

1. What's in your pocket?
Not telling; you have to guess, and if you can't guess right, you have to show me the way out.

2. Is the pork ready?
If you have to ask, the answer is "No."

3. Have you ever had to rock to and fro to make your poopie go?
I think this question is on the MMPI. [Wren, sweet pea, what in the name of Sigmund Freud did you DO to that child? Play A Clockwork Orange throughout her toilet training?]

4. Do you like onions?
Do I what like onions?

5. So, how big is it?
I've never measured.

6. Budweiser or real beer?
Budweiser? Budweiser?! You Budweis her, you brought her.

7. What do you feel about your nose?
Dry skin, oil, and the occasional stray booger.

8. Children: Baked or broiled?
Those big turkey fryers are just the right size.

9. Do you like it when I do this?
Well... since you asked... no, I don't really. But I still like you, even when you do this.

10. Do you like the sound of chickens?
No, I prefer the thigh.

11. Would Beyonce clip her own toenails?
Would she, could she, on a boat?
Would she, could she, with a goat?

12. Do you like pork?
Do I what like pork?

13. If the butter is soft, does the bus arrive on time?
Colander.

14. When do you get up?
When I absolutely must. Except when I don't.

15. How did you survive childhood?
Guerrilla tactics, mainly.

16. What do you do before bed?
Rock to and fro to make my poopie go.

17. What are your hidden charges?
Well, if I told you, they wouldn't be hidden, would they? sheesh...

18. Who's behind you?
I try not to look.

19. Why don't people go to the bathroom on TV?
Because pee would short out the wiring and poop would just roll off onto the floor.

20. What's a soylent green popsicle?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

21. What does it taste like?
I don't think a soylent green popsicle has taste buds.

22. Why doesn't Consumer Reports rate hookers?
Because the first five guys they sent out still haven't come back.

23. Does George Bush replace the toilet paper tube?
Absolutely not. The toilet paper tube is an indispensable bit of modern technology.

Well, there you have it. I am tagging Kirstin, Swandive, and Mad Hare. You may now curse my name.

yours in the struggle,
Max